So like other bloggers before (and I'm sure after) me, I feel inclined to explain my latest absence from my blog and also my Instagram page too. The life of a creative is a life of ebbs and flows, you have the urge to do things and then it disappears and you feel like you're chasing an ever elusive target.
The truth for me is that my target is different to it was when I started this blog. When I started it, I was bored of work, bored of life I guess and frustrated that my creativity wasn't being satisfied like it had been at University. But now, I've nearly finished a lighting design diploma and I'm finally a designer of something - although not the interiors I initially started on the path towards. I now have a job I really enjoy and it might even progress further to a full on electrical engineer at the rate its going, which if you'd have told me 8 years ago, or even as little as 2 years ago, I wouldn't have believed you haha!
I know how lucky I am to finally have a job that I like - I still can't believe it and I often doubt that I'm worthy or even capable but everyday at the moment I do something I never imagined I would or could - so I'm proving it to myself, even when I don't think I can.
So what does this mean for my blog and my photos?? Well don't worry they're still coming - just not at the rate they once were. I don't need my blog to satisfy the things I needed it to before, but it and my photos have been such a big part of my growth and I guess I could even say, my identity, in the past 9 years. I want to share here and take photos now because its something I love doing, rather than it being something I have to do and I think really, that's a much better reason to be doing something. Also, after my 365 project, I feel like I've finally found the kind of photos that I like taking and the results I really like (see photos above), which means less photos overall rather than the sporadic styles I would say I had in my first few years of taking film photos. Quality over quantity right??
Anyway, that's just a brief catch up on how my life is right now - work is different, for the better, hurray. I could also talk about grief and anxiety kicking my butt but the truth is that even with both of those things being an aspect of my life at the moment, I'm still getting stuff done - work, crochet and knitting, a fun little 365 video project on Instagram, finally developing some film and scanning the photos. And again I know I'm lucky to be able to do these things too, so I'm trying not to take everything - the big things like work and the little things, like that one second of video a day - for granted. I'm learning every year that more and more is out of my control, but the things I can control, like this place on the internet here and what I share, are where you truly shine and grow - and I want to keep giving it all my best. Wish me luck, I think I'm going to need it!
Camera: Canon EOS 750
Film: Agfa Vista 200
p.s. The sandwich was realllllly good (good gluten free bread for the win) and I took the door photo for the 'are you jelli' sign not the vegan one. Are you jelli... what a funny phrase!
