nothing special happened

Hey all - what a strange year huh. The last 2/3 months feel like a blur. I was doing ok until September and then it felt like winter struck, lockdown was looming and my mental health took a nose dive off the highest board into a vat of concrete.

Good news is that I talked to the doctor and have upped my anxiety medication (considerably), I finally have some plans to see my family (which in itself is also making me anxious as well as very happy) and I also finally have a diagnosis for why my body has been falling apart for the last 3 years - I have ME/CFS. I don’t quite know where I sit with that yet - I’ve been through the ‘finally a diagnosis’ stage and now I’m sat uncomfortably in the ‘shit now what??’ stage - bordering on the ‘fuck fuck fuck’ stage haha. I guess I should state that it isn’t anything fatal - I’m not dying - but there isnt a cure either - so I’ll be managing this and dealing with whatever else it decides to throw at me for… well, forever.

However I guess if I can get a first class degree whilst being chronically sick - I can do anything right?? I hope so!

Anyway, so yeah, a strange year. How are you all? I have no idea who still pops in here - but please drop me a comment below with how you’re doing - the one thing I’ve missed the most with not dipping my toes into blogging is my blog friends.

Camera: Canon EOS 750
Film: Fujicolor 200 (developed and scanned by my new friends at Take It Easy Lab in Leeds- I’m never scanning colour film again ha. Also looking at their insta when I sent me films, I’m pretty sure a member of The Kaiser Chiefs developed my film - thats pretty cool)
Location: Yorkshire Sculpture Park

p.s. can you see the text in the photo above? I though it was a good fit for this year ha!

2020 366 Project 16-18

17/2020 - This is one of my fave photos from this year because it marks the END OF MY DEGREE. I handed everything in on the 16th - on the 17th we had a day out in Settle and it was wonderful. Also there were sheep - you know I love sheep.

18/2020 - I think I shared this before but it was taken on the 18th day - so here it is

Camera: Canon EOD 750
Film: Kodak T-Max 400- sent to me by Kodak Alaris and developed and scanned by myself (oh yeah!)

A bit of colour

I’ve been using a lot of black and white film this year - mostly because I can develop it myself and also because I haven’t been anywhere near a photo shop to get colour films developed. It feels very unusual to me because I love colour! So heres a few colour photos from last year to break up all the black and white (because there will be a lot more of it, sorry!)

Its really lovely to have captured these personal moments too. I feel like all my posts end up being super nostalgic about ‘before’ but I can’t help looking at photos and wondering how different this year would have been if it hadn’t been like it is.

Camera: Canon EOS 750
Film: Kodak Ektar (edited to how I like because scanning Kodak Ektar is a b*tch)
Location: York Gate Garden (my new fave)

Inside Harewood House

Sometimes I worry that the content of my posts are a bit samey. But then I forget about it and think about how much I love the photos I’m sharing. The worlds too crazy right now and lifes too short to not share the things you love don’t you think?

So in a true to me fashion - here are some old house appreciation photos.

I took these with Kodak TMax P3200 - and then butchered them myself in developing and scanning - so if you want an accurate reflection of how this film looks when done right, this is not the post (see this review on Emulsive for the proper film writing). However if you love some film grain, a bit of amateur film developing and ‘winging it’ film scanning - then this is the post for you.

I’m personally very taken with the grain in these photos - it works with the context and I just love how this film can handle my high contrast editing too. There was a few times when I went too far and had to pull myself back, but overall, I think these reflect how truly stunning Harewood House is.

Camera: Canon EOS 750'
Film: Kodak Tmax P3200
Location: Harewood House, Leeds