So I was going to link back to my original word of the year post here... BUT I never wrote one! I think this is the first year for a while that I haven't and I'm a little surprised at myself... well kind of. I haven't had the best 6 months blogging... Lets quickly catch up and I shall share my word of 2015 formally here now!
I did announce my word on Instagram - which I'm relieved about as I really love this word and I'm glad it got a bit of a fuss at the beginning of the year - originally I wrote
"My word for 2015 is GIVE. And it feels so right and such a huge reminder to not close myself off or hide away with my fears. Its generous to others but also (and importantly) to myself... I want to give it my all in everything. I want to give up resentment (forGIVE) and I want to bend under pressure without breaking. Do you have a word for the year? I'd love to hear it!"
So where am I now with my word of the year?
To be honest, this word makes me emotional when I think about it. This year has been busy - in real life not blog life ha - I've been getting used to my new job and trying to work out a new blog schedule. We've been busy with friends (it's the year of babies, weddings, houses, 30th birthdays) and I've barely taken any photos using film at all.
I'm really pleased to say that I have been giving it my all in real life though - it's been hard and exhausting, but I haven't held back or let myself be overwhelmed by fear and anxiety - and I'm really proud of myself for that. It's been tougher than I imagined in many ways but also very rewarding I'm glad to say. I've also been doing a lot of yoga and finally felt like I'm learning what 'give' means in yoga. I always thought that to relax your muscles you had to do something special - but I've come to understand that its about moving in such a way that you give your body more space somehow. Its not about 'not being tense' - its about giving yourself the space to be, to breathe and to let go of whatever it is that's causing the tension (sometimes thats more emotional than physical, I carry all my emotional shiz in my shoulders...) Every yoga session is a gift to myself and every time I do it, I'm so glad I did.
One unexpected result of the word give is the reminder to 'give myself a break'. I have a tendency to really beat myself up about things. Blogging is one of those things. My emotions, food, weight and exercise are others... especially when they're so important to depression recovery... but I'm learning to try and take a step back from those thoughts and give myself a break. It's ok to have bad days every so often.
So I have 6 months to continue on this track - to give myself the best year that I can. And I think I'll be OK- that I'll do it - I might need a big sleep in December to recover, but I think this year is going to be a good one. At least, I really hope so.
Have you got a word for the year? How have the last 6 months been for you? Please do share!