Nope, not a new film camera but a new phone with a fancy new camera in it. Sure its digital - but hurray, a new camera to play with! And boy have a I played with it a lot in the last 24 hours - I'm actually really surprised by that - but in just 24 hours, my photography love has burst into life again and I LOVE all these photos!
I've had a bit of a weird week this week anyway - for the past two years I've been relearning everything that I do - which sounds dramatic - and I guess it kind of is... but yes - relearning. CBT helped with that a lot - essentially in teaching me that I had to relearn things and showing me how and that it's ok to have to learn but now that's its been a while and I've been through the cycle of relearning, forgetting - trying the same old ways without realising - failing and then finally remembering that I have to do things differently - its started to sink in and actually stick. I've noticed the sticking more this week. I've loved myself a little bit more this week.
When I say everything it really does feel like everything - its hard and a little heartbreaking sometimes - the letting go. But yesterday, in using a new camera and HAVING to do things a bit different, I realised that I've been trying to apply the same old tricks to photography - using the cameras I used to love, using the films I used to love - and instead of trying something new to reignite my passion - I've been pushing the same old ideas hoping they will work like they used to. A bit like a toddler trying to push a rectangle block into a square hole - the shapes almost there but not quite right.
(I can honestly say that I never realised I was this stubborn about things - a little stubborn sure - who isn't? But this stubborn?!)
So, now that I have a new digital camera to play with - I'm thinking its time that I got a new film camera to play with too - something that's a square fitting into the square hole - does anyone have any recommendations? I'd love some help with finding a new camera as I have no idea where to start!! Tell me your favourite camera and what you love about it - I want to hear all about it.
p.s. You may have realised I've started writing more recently - I don't really know why - but I'm really pleased - I've missed this.